The Roman wedding is one of the clearest examples of a rite of passage in the ancient world. Within two days a girl left her father's house, crossed a space of transition and was received into another house, under the protection of other household gods. Every gesture had a meaning, and many of them have been handed down to us by authors such as Plutarch, Festus and Catullus.
Three ancient forms
Archaic Roman law recognised three ways in which the bride passed under the authority (manus) of her husband.
| Form | Features |
|---|---|
| Confarreatio | A solemn religious ceremony, with the offering of a spelt cake, in the presence of the Flamen of Jupiter, the Pontifex Maximus and ten witnesses |
| Coemptio | A symbolic sale of the bride, with scales and witnesses |
| Usus | Uninterrupted cohabitation for one year |
Confarreatio was reserved for patricians and was required for the parents of certain priests, such as the Flamen of Jupiter. The Twelve Tables already provided that a woman could avoid usus by spending three nights away from home each year. Over time marriage without manus became widespread, but many gestures of the traditional ceremony remained in use.
The eve: separation from childhood
On the evening before the wedding, the girl laid aside the toga praetexta, the purple-bordered garment of childhood, and according to some sources offered her toys and dolls to the Lares or to Venus. She put on a white tunic woven in a single piece, the tunica recta, and slept with a saffron-coloured net in her hair.
The robing of the bride
On the wedding morning the bride's hair was dressed with particular care. It was divided into six braids, the seni crines, parted with the point of a small curved spear, the hasta caelibaris: a very ancient gesture which the Romans themselves explained in different ways.
Around her waist she wore a woollen belt tied with the knot of Hercules, which only her husband would untie. On her head she wore the flammeum, a flame-orange veil, the same colour as the veil worn by the wife of the Flamen of Jupiter, symbol of an indissoluble marriage.
The ceremony
The ceremony took place in the house of the bride's father. Auspices were taken and a sacrifice was offered. A matron married only once, the pronuba, joined the couple's right hands in the dextrarum iunctio, a gesture we find on many Roman sarcophagi.
Plutarch, in the Roman Questions, records a formula spoken by the bride: "Where you are Gaius, I am Gaia". The name Gaius had a generic value here, as if to say: "where you are master of the house, I am mistress of the house".
The evening procession: the margin
At nightfall came the deductio, the procession that escorted the bride to her new home. It was the most liminal moment of the celebration. The girl was snatched in mock fashion from her mother's arms, a gesture the ancients linked with the rape of the Sabine women. The procession moved by torchlight, one torch being of hawthorn, amid joking and licentious songs called Fescennine verses and the ritual cry "Talassio!". Nuts were thrown to boys, a sign of leaving childhood games behind.
The bride walked accompanied by three boys whose parents were both alive: two held her hands, the third carried the torch. She carried with her the distaff and spindle, symbols of domestic work.
The threshold: aggregation
On reaching the new house, the bride anointed the doorposts with oil or fat and wrapped them with woollen bands. Then she was lifted and carried over the threshold. Plutarch offers several explanations for this gesture: the memory of the Sabine women carried off by force, or the need to prevent the bride from stumbling on the threshold, an ill omen.
Inside, the husband welcomed her with water and fire, the fundamental elements of domestic life. According to one tradition, the bride brought three coins: one for her husband, one for the Lares of the house, one for the Lares of the nearby crossroads. The next day she offered her first sacrifice as mistress of the new home.
Reading the passage
The three-stage pattern is clearly recognisable:
- separation: laying aside the toga and toys, mock detachment from the mother;
- margin: night procession, licentious songs, a condition suspended between two families;
- aggregation: anointing of the doorposts, crossing the threshold, water and fire, domestic sacrifice.
The threshold, point of contact between outside and inside, was the most delicate place: that is why the bride did not touch it with her feet.
In short
- Roman law recognised three forms of marriage with manus: confarreatio, coemptio and usus.
- The eve marked separation from childhood with the laying aside of the toga praetexta.
- The bride wore the orange flammeum and a belt tied with the knot of Hercules.
- The night procession with torches and songs represented the marginal phase.
- Entering over the threshold, with water and fire, sealed aggregation to the new house.
